Great day on the river
So, I’ve been training for about a month to become a river guide. Today we were going down the river and started out ok; the bout was a little slow, but otherwise fine. We come up on a rapid called Broken Nose (named so because if a kayaker is unlucky enough to flip he then gets to drag his face on about 20m of rocks, usually resulting in a broken nose) and our angle is fine. Then we don’t hit the curve just before broken nose quit right and end up way left. Again, not too much of a big deal, except it was a high water day. Because the water was so high rafts could hit a rock named KImberly’s, which will make you do a upstream flip and a good chance of body pinning one of the people in the raft. Of course we hit Kimberly’s and I am in the seat that is the most likely to be pinned. Thankfully the raft was flipping slow enough for me to jump into broken nose and somehow the one of the other guys saved the boat by jumping on/around Kimberly’s so the weight of the other people in the boats on the right side to keep the boats from turning over. Swimming Broken Nose was alright; since it was just me, it let me go pretty quick. Then I got drug over an island that was underwater today while I was trying to get back in the boat. Other than that incident, the rest of the trip was pretty normal. Probably the first time I have ever been in a legitimate near life-threatening situation, so I am going to say we handled it like some badasses; especially since it could have easily turned into really bad shit had the boat really wanted to flip. It weird I fun training has been. I remember I called Anna last night fucking happy as hell I was I was going to 3-man flood stages after hours. That was actually the best fucking phone call I’ve had in awhile. All in all, this weekend was pretty fucking awesome
All fear the mighty Kevin, or the sugarplum fairies. Either one
Walk in the club like, “what up? I got a big cock.”
Obama’s one-liners during his speech at the White House Correspondents Dinner.
Cleopatra’s Underwater Palace, Egypt
I still don’t get why no one is LOSING THEIR FUCKING SHIT OVER THIS FIND
iT SURVIVED THE EARTHQUAKE THAT LEVELED THE REST OF THE CITY IN 365 A.D.
CLEOPATRA’S FUCKING PALACE
WITH INTACT FUCKING STATUARY
NOT TO MENTION THE REST OF THE FUCKING ENTIRE GODDAMN ISLAND OF ANTIRRHODOS INCLUDING THE ANCIENT PORT OF ALEXANDRIA
AND THEY’RE GONNA BUILD A MOTHERFUCKING UNDERWATER MUSEUM
UNDERWATER. MUSEUM.
can I be a mermaid tour guide there or some shit, you don’t even have to pay me i will just live there forever oh my fucking god
![tastefullyoffensive:
[inthebleachers]](http://24.media.tumblr.com/85cb68402e5ae81a6c0ad731f018f15e/tumblr_mlny1dFJGp1qewacoo1_500.jpg)
He is having none of your snake shit today.
Let me just smack this poisonous snake…
Snakes can smell fear, and this guy ain’t afraid of your no leg having, scaly skinned, sissy hissing bitch ass.
Maybe I’m sleep drunk but I’m laughing at all of this way too hard
He went Mexican mom on its ass
He went Mexican mom on its ass
^^i cant
Ain’t that the truth ^^
(Source: jadeita)
That moment when your looking at your Facebook
and you realize your ex, who hates the shit out of you, is still liking stuff that your posting on Facebook. how’d I miss it the first time is what I want to know; I would have been all over that had I saw it.
